When confronted with a cancer diagnosis, he quickly saw areas in his life that needed to be adjusted if he was going to finish well. One area was “to stop minimizing himself.” For far too long he had taken a back seat by underestimating the influence of his life. That was no longer going to happen.

When asked what he would do differently if he could go back 20 years, he said “I would have risked more, especially with relationships.” There is a tendency to go it alone too much. He realized that beyond connecting with his spouse and family he needed to step out of his comfort zone and risk more with the people that God had put in his path.

There will be a tension when we risk with others. One of the speakers in the group said that it would be like the tension of an arrow being pulled back on the string of a bow. That’s good tension. That’s when the Holy Spirit can release you to influence others. Risking in this way means full dependence on God. Playing it safe means full dependence on yourself.

Based on what I heard, I want to include some type of God-dependent risk taking with others. It could be small or large, but would involve the people the Holy Spirit brings across my path. It is a good antidote to my pattern of playing it safe.

Occasionally, we will be the recipient of someone who engages us in a risk taking way. It feels good to be sought after in that way.

Shifting our frame of mind to risking more with other people makes sense as God orchestrates the details.

I’m going to try that and hopefully make it a new habit.

He had a ready smile and seemed about my age. He was never without his baseball cap for a reason I found out later.

During the course of the retreat I had several conversations with Jim. He met his dad for the first time when he was 18. I couldn’t imagine what that would have been like. Many men have a father wound and Jim’s was especially deep. Their relationship grew slowly over subsequent years. His willingness to forgive his dad helped tear down big emotional walls and allowed restoration to happen. If I recall correctly, his dad was in his mid-80’s before restoration came.

Jim wore the baseball cap due to the chemo therapy he was taking for pancreatic cancer. Eighteen months previously, he had been given 6 months to live. He had a successful “Whipple” surgery which helped him defy the odds and knew God had extended his days for a reason.

To hear him speak was inspiring. He said he did not have time look back over his life with regret or worry about the future because he had no future. He only had the present moment. He was determined to use it fully for what God wanted.

He chose not to repeat the failures of his father. He loved his three adult children and was their greatest cheerleader. He watched as God unexpectedly opened ways for him to provide for his wife so she would be taken care of when he was gone. He experienced daily joy in the midst of intense suffering. Tears came easily as he shared stories of relationships that grew deep due to his cancer journey.

I had the sense he was peering through a gap in eternity’s door ready to meet his savior with a life that finished well. And that brought him joy.

The rejection Jim experienced as a boy which spilled into his adult life gave way to forgiveness. It took courage to release the hurt and allow God to move him into unfamiliar places with his father. His family benefited from his bravery and unwillingness to be chained to his past.

Meeting Jim disrupted my life. He inspired me that finishing well can happen no matter what the past has held or current circumstances involve. Our Enemy wants us to live life looking regretfully in the rear view mirror. God is inviting us to be forward looking in fulfilling His purposes in the present moment with joy-filled prospects. He reminds us often that a future and a hope awaits all who follow Him (Jer. 29:11).

Jim’s life pushes us to consider whether we are being held back by past regrets or present heart breaks. Perhaps God is bringing something to mind that needs attention. If so, you have a chance, like Jim, to step into the unknown and find that God will meet you there to restore the broken places. It’s a risk worth taking.

We’re used to everything having an expiration date these days. Even a sealed bottle of pure water has a date when it expires!

A close friend told me recently his mother-in-law asked for prayer that God would take her home. She did not see any value to her life. If we’re not careful, we can feel labeled with an expiration date too.

The exact opposite is the case if we ask for God’s opinion on the matter. He repeatedly expresses how deeply He loves us. He also has a long list of plans that we are uniquely gifted to accomplish. Here are two verses that state this:

• The Lord will accomplish what concerns me… (Ps. 138:8).
• For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11).

I recognize that we often need help to see the value of our later years which are discounted by today’s culture.

Here are three further reasons why there is no expiration date on your life:

1. God created you. You are made in His image and carry inestimable value. Some of that value can feel tarnished, but it is still priceless to God. “And God created man in His own image…and blessed them…” (Gen. 1:27-28).
2. God chose you. You have amazing purposes to fulfill which God reveals over time. Divine assignments have been issued to you from the throne of heaven that are exclusive to your life. “…I chose you and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain…” (John 15:16).
3. God holds you to the end. God is using you right up until your last breath is taken on the earth. Some of His most important work will occur during your later years. There are many examples of this in Scripture (e.g. Abraham, Moses, Simeon, Anna). “…You have taken hold of my right hand. With your counsel You will guide me, and afterward receive me to glory.” (Ps. 73:23-24).

The midlife and beyond years can be the season of your greatest influence for the Lord. You may need to adjust your current mindset to believe this. It is definitely possible to have a multi-generational impact and leave a lasting legacy to those whom God has placed in your life.

Given what has been said, how would you respond to the question, “Do you feel inspired or expired in your later years?”

I hope you answered, “There’s no expiration date on my life! God has much more for me to do!”

That time may be so far into the future it’s hard to imagine. You may feel somewhat daunted by having another 30-40 years to go. Or you may welcome the idea of the new adventures and opportunities they will bring.

Mental habits formed now will certainly impact the quality of our future years. Negativity and a fearful narrowing of perspective can hamper the full bloom of our later decades. Individuals who embrace their approaching years with hope, meaningful relationships and a deepening faith in their Creator will relish the sweeter taste of life down that longer road.

My dad lived to see his 90th birthday which amounts to 32,850 days or 4,380 months. When he joined the Navy at 17 years old to enter WWII he couldn’t imagine reaching that seasoned age. Ninety candles arrived with a family who loved him and a life filled with many superb experiences. Included in those years was overcoming pancreatic cancer, colon cancer, skin cancer, hip replacements, and appendicitis with quiet confidence and an optimistic view of the future.

Now that he’s gone, he remains a great example of someone who loved life. He never gave up. He found a way to make it through. That’s what I want to do too.

It’s a determined choice we have to make. Will we trust God to see us through the obstacles that block our way? Will we hold onto hope? Will we choose the narrow path that faith requires? If we do, it will lead us to a place of meaning and beauty in the future. However, we shouldn’t go it alone. We need close relationships who can provide cheer leading when we need it.

The best part of all is that God is inviting us to join Him in the adventure of our later years. He has plans for us to accomplish as the influence of our life can sweep across future generations.

I’m in for that. How about you?

The concentration of hard realities is one of the most surprising aspects of this season. Rather than down shifting to easier years, it’s as if life has revved up to send us more problems!

Any of these sound familiar?

• Deep regrets
• Crisis of faith
• Marriage problems
• Financial difficulties
• Health issues
• Unemployment pressures
• Aging parent demands
• Adult children struggles

These problems can rise like mountains blocking our way. Instead of Mount Everest or Mount Kilimanjaro, the mountains have names like Mount Regret, Mount Marriage, Mount Finance or Mount Health. Each present looming problems that are difficult to manage. Together, they can seem like an entire mountain range in front of us!

If we’re not careful, we can make poor decisions trying to cope with them:

• Drifting from God
• Leaving a marriage
• Distancing from family and friends
• Numbing the pain through pornography, alcohol, or drugs
• Pursuing unhealthy relationships leading to affairs, questionable friends
• Making risky decisions pursuing get-rich-quick schemes, unwise investments

In the Colorado Rocky Mountains there are 54 peaks that ascend above 14,000 feet. They are called the “14ers.” From a distance these mountains look unclimbable yet every summit can be reached without the aid of ropes and pitons. There is a way to conquer them.

Jesus made a remarkable statement to His disciples on the topic of mountains. He said, “…if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you” (Matthew 17:20). He recognized that we would be confronted with mountains that needed moving in our life.

There is some mystery to how all of this works. However, what is most encouraging is that Jesus said our mountains can be moved! Size doesn’t matter. The highest peak can be toppled by something as tiny as a mustard seed.

What mountains are you facing?

As you look over that list, the Creator of the heavens and the earth is walking with you each step of the way. If the mountain hasn’t moved according to your timing, then know He is still orchestrating millions of details which will all work together to accomplish His purposes in your life. It just isn’t obvious yet!

The prophet Isaiah spoke about mountains and what God can do about them when he said, “Let every valley be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; and let the rough ground become a plain and the rugged terrain a broad valley” (Isaiah 40:4).

I would be interested in knowing how you’ve seen God move some of these mountains. Or if it hasn’t happened, how are you holding onto your faith and staying hopeful for the future?

It took place over three days in 2010 at Wimbledon, England between John Isner of the United States and Nicolas Mahut from France. Racking up nearly one thousand points, neither player could break the other’s serve. It required hours of mental concentration and physical stamina by both competitors to keep the ball in play without giving away any advantage.

Isner finally won with a simple backhand stroke down the line that Mahut could not return. It became a worldwide story for the length and intensity of the game.

As I read that story I couldn’t help but draw a few comparisons to those of us on the midlife and beyond journey:

1. Rigorous journey– The Pew Research Center found that for most people, middle age is the most demanding and stressful time of life. That fact might come as a surprise.
2. Long-term challenge– For many, the difficulties faced are long-term in nature. Aging parents require more care and adult children are struggling to get on their own.  Marital issues can also crowd in that have been deferred for years while the children were around.
3. Progress hard to measure– These years require an unexpected amount of effort to keep our personal, family and professional lives going in the right direction. Even with the added effort we might not see the results we hoped for.

Fortunately, God is taking the journey with us. He is very involved is all we are doing even though He often travels incognito.

Here are some reminders from the Lord when your life feels like a never-ending tennis match:

• I am with you, you’re not alone – “Do not fear for I am with you.” (Isa. 41:10)
• I am going to help you– “I will hold you by the hand and watch over you.” (Isa. 42:5)
• I will give you the strength you need– “Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength.” (Isa. 40:31)
• I will carry you for the rest of your life– “Even to your graying years I shall bear you!” (Isa. 46:4)
• I can overcome any difficulty– “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?” (Jer. 32:27)

As you hold on to God’s promises for the future, you may be shocked at how some challenges will get resolved just like that simple backhand stroke after hours of play. It just took a lot longer than you expected.

Do you agree with the Pew Research Center that stated the midlife years are the most demanding and stressful for people?

Are there any topics you’d like this blog to address about the midlife and beyond season?

One trip in particular is seared in my memory.

I was sitting in the backseat of my grandfather’s 1959 blue Ford Fairlane automobile. In those days, they put water in the radiator and the engines often overheated. As we began the steep drive up the mountain my eyes were glued to the temperature gauge on the dashboard. My fear of the engine blowing apart was only matched by the anxiety I felt that my grandfather might steer us over the edge!

Sure enough, as the miles went by, the temperature gauge slowly began to rise. I started fixating on it with worry tying knots in my stomach. Our car wasn’t fast to begin with, but now we were stuck behind some slow vehicles. We were creeping along and the gauge was noticeably getting hotter. It eventually went to the top and I was in near panic.

Then my grandfather did the most unexpected thing. He floored the gas pedal and roared out into the opposite lane. I thought he was crazy as he passed the slower cars. He cut back into the line when an approaching car came then roared out again at the next opening. He did that several times gaining more speed until he broke away from the pack and onto the open road.

Instead of exploding the engine, the increased speed added more cooling to the radiator. I couldn’t believe it, but stared as the temperature gauge started going down. We made it safely to the cabin and I had a new respect for my grandfather’s driving.

Midlife and beyond feels similar to that drive in the mountains. The road is steeper than expected and there are drop offs around the corners like:

• Is my marriage going to survive?
• How can I survive my financial shortfall?
• What do I do about my spouse’s major health problems?
• Should I step in to help my adult children who are struggling?
• I’m not sure what to do!
• Where is God in all of this?

It’s easy for our hope to waiver when the temperature gauge of our life is getting hot and worry is tying knots in our stomach.

Here are five things to hold onto when worry grips us:

1. Hold onto the hope of God’s promises. This is not a trite statement, but a tenacious grip on God’s promises. They can be a steady support in the chaos you may be feeling. And they can be a foundation for rethinking your future. One of His promises is that He gives you a “future and a hope.” (Jer. 29:11)
2. Hold onto God. God hasn’t abandoned you although it may feel that way. He is sitting right beside you on your journey up that steep mountain (although He often travels incognito). For every worrying thought, try and match it with one of His promises. God says that “He will hold you by the hand.” (Isa. 42:6)
3. Hold onto to friends. A trusted friend is important to share with during seasons of anxiety and fear. Avoid going it alone. It will take courage to reach out to someone, but it will be worth the risk. “And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” (Eccl. 4:12)
4. Hold things loosely. You live according to God’s terms, not your own. God is not going to be predictable or conform to your expectations in bringing His answers. A lot of disappointment can be avoided if you understand this. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isa. 55:9)
5. Hold steady. God will show up for you! That is a fact. But… it will be in His timing. Ephesians 6 tells us “when we have done everything, stand firm.” God will give you the strength to press through everything.

When all seems lost, get ready for something unanticipated or even a little scary to happen when God stomps on the gas pedal. If He hasn’t made an appearance yet in your situation, buckle up as He might soon be taking you into the passing lane!

I’d be interested in your comments about how you deal with worry and in what ways God has shown up in your life.

Did you know that the Statue of David was made out of a flawed piece of marble? An earlier artist had begun work on it 25 years before, but soon quit stating the the marble was flawed! The large block was moved outside where it sat neglected in the elements for a quarter of a century until it was commissioned again.

This time, under the skilled hands of Michelangelo and tens-of-thousands of hammer strokes on a chisel, a masterpiece was created.

Isn’t this a great metaphor of our midlife years? Don’t we often feel flawed and set aside? We see the flaws in our spouse, marriage, finances, health, relationships—just about everywhere we look!

Here’s an attitude that can help us:

Rather than looking at the flaws in our situation, we are going to resolutely fix our eyes on Jesus knowing that He is in the process of sculpting a masterpiece in our life for His glory.

God may have a lot of chiseling to do so that we’re fashioned and ready for His purposes. But as we trust Him wholeheartedly in the process, won’t it be wonderful to finally see what He accomplished through the flawed marble of our life! Our years of greater influence are ahead of us!

“For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure!” (Phil. 2:13)

What has God been chiseling away in your life to create His beautiful sculpture?

However, the notes of the score won’t be played by strings, wind or brass instruments. Rather, the orchestration will be played with relationships, circumstances and influence that create beautiful melodies enjoyed by an audience who takes in the music of your life. 

Sound a bit overstated?

Some individuals may not like the sounds of their symphony and call a pre-mature halt to the production. They don’t like the way the Composer has written the notes. They step down from the podium and leave the stage taking a place in the audience. This is unfortunate as we “see through a mirror dimly” (1 Cor. 13:12) and can miss the greater stanzas God is orchestrating for us.

Instead of stopping the performance when the music doesn’t sound right, another approach is to slow the tempo down where it feels manageable and under control. In life, this could represent an attitude of “playing it safe,” “avoiding risks,” and “holding back.” God couldn’t possibly be composing a memorable sound out of the complexity of our musical score, could He? How can anything good come from the racing 32nd and 64th notes that leave us breathless? Shouldn’t we take things into our own hands to manage the chaos?

But isn’t living a life fully for God like the orchestration of dozens of musical instruments that blend together to create a unique sound? There may be dissonant sections, but the whole score is a grand melody.

By staying on the podium and conducting the symphony that God is orchestrating, untold lives will be impacted by what they see and hear. Your “life music” can speak words of blessing to others, provide a spiritual legacy to adult children and grandchildren, offer them wisdom on the right occasion, pray for those in need and ultimately point them to the Composer.

Others need the inspiration of hearing the music of your life. This week would be a good time to boldly stand at the podium and conduct your symphony as opposed to listening from the audience.

The pastor was talking about the difficult trials we experience on our life’s journey. The Bible refers to them as “momentary light afflictions” (2 Cor. 4:17).

He said that while the trials seem huge to us and are painful, we could benefit by using a different reference point.

He went on to say that if you compared the blessings of heaven to our earthly struggles it would be like placing a Blue Whale on a bathroom scale. There’s no way the weight could be measured.

I know I don’t think about heaven enough. How about you? It’s a great reminder even when we’re embroiled in heart wrenching situations.

This week I’m going to think of a Blue Whale…then think of heaven…and ponder the hope I have to be there some day. That comparison will help keep the size of my problems in perspective.

What situation your life needs a Blue Whale?