Hope for Your Midlife Marriage

How often do you see a penny on the ground and don’t bother to pick it up? It doesn’t have much value anymore.

I discovered that pennies have incredible worth when I recently visited the 5-star Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs. Earlier in the day, a fountain in the lobby of the newly refurbished west wing caught the tender sentiments of a wife for the man she loved.

Sometime during their visit she secretly went down to the fountain to share the deep feelings of her heart. Reaching into the water, she gathered the pennies to form this touching message:

GROW OLD ALONG WITH ME ♥ KATE

The love expressed by this simple and creative act said it all. There was no one else in the world she wanted to spend the rest of her days with, but the special man in her life. How his heart must have skipped a beat to later walk by the fountain and read her message.

While that story is heart-warming to hear, divorce rates have doubled in the last 20 years for those over 50. This trend for midlife marriage is so pronounced that researchers are calling it “gray divorce.” Women are leading men in initiating these breakups.

It’s understandable that a dip in marital satisfaction occurs in midlife after 20, 30 or 40 years of being together. For some couples, it’s more like a plunge than a dip! No matter what our spousal situation may be, there is still hope for our midlife marriage. God is on the journey with us.

For the big issues we’re wrestling with, we probably need the help of a skilled counselor.

But there are a lot of smaller things that can be done to show care and value to the closest person in our life. These little kindnesses can add up over time to awaken hope that our hearts can turn back toward each other.

A good question to ask would be: What are the pennies in my life that can show love and respect to my wife or husband?

Pennies in the fountain remind us of the following:

1. Little things can convey great value.
2. Creatively expressing love in small ways goes a long way.
3. Big demonstrations of love aren’t always better.
4. Surprises add a spark to relationships.
5. Connecting on a heart level is what we’re after.

In the next week or two, see if you can find your equivalent of “pennies in the fountain” and give it a try with your spouse. It’s a good habit to start and holds the potential for great results.

I’d be interested in knowing what you tried to do to show kindness in small ways to your mate. Many could benefit by your inspiring actions and discover there is hope for our midlife marriages!

Leave a comment if you can.