How often have you thought that your life or family situation is unusually hard…unique…unlike anyone else’s? That somehow your problems are different from most people who have it easier?
While it’s natural to think that way, you’d be making a mistake.
What’s surprising is how much we have in common with others. We are on similar journeys. This ranges from the problems we experience to the positive times we share together.
I was reminded of this by a very transparent talk given by the high profile pastor, Chuck Swindoll, at his church in Frisco, Texas. He was addressing the Legacy Coalition Conference that was filled with those in the grand parenting stage of life.
He said, “I bet you think my family is a lot different than your’s. That’s not true. We’ve shared heartbreaks like everyone else.” Sitting on the stage next to him were his wife and three 20-something grandchildren whom he had invited to speak honestly about their life.
As I listened to Chuck speak it felt like he was leaving us with a legacy message. He had arranged for his wife and three of his grandchildren to come and speak to a crowd of around 800. Instead of staying with his 30-minute time allocation, he took 1 1/2 hours to get everything said. The audience was riveted to their seats. It didn’t seem like 90 minutes had gone by.
During the five talks that were given, the audience heard that the oldest Swindoll son had been addicted to hard drugs and liquor which required him to go through rehab. We learned that two of their daughters had experienced divorce, one of which was particularly wrenching. So much so, that Chuck and Cynthia had to rescue their 40-something daughter and her two children by bringing them from out-of-state to live with them. One of the granddaughters shared about her experience of being rescued. She said “My grandparents built a foundation through the rubble of my life.” Cynthia said “You provide your own brand of love to your children and grandchildren. It will have a profound effect on their life.”
The theme of love wove itself through all the stories. There were humorous events shared, but most were heart tugging and tearful.
If Chuck Swindoll could be this transparent about the brokenness of his family, it encouraged all of us in the audience to do the same. Why not drop our phony exteriors and superficiality and be genuine about what weighed heavy on our heart?
To be this honest about the burdens of our life requires taking a sizable risk. Yet the benefits will be worth it. All it takes is for one person to be transparent; to take the first step.
How encouraging it will be to know that we aren’t alone with our problems. We are all on a similar journey.
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